Burger at the Bar

Most bars are not known for their food. I do not drink and I never go to bars, but even I know that you shouldn't eat from the bowl of pretzels on the bar. Who knows where the hands that have touched them have been? But hark, there is at least one exception to the don't-eat-the-food-at-bars rule. That exception is The Cotton Bottom which is aptly located at the bottom of the cottonwood canyons. This bar is old and from what I can see hasn't had a paint job since . . . ever.

Remember when I said I never go to bars. I really really meant that I never ever go to bars. It's just not me. But people at my wife's work have recommended this place over and over again. I have no problem going to a bar, I know I'm an adult. But I really have no idea how to behave in one. I don't know the dress code, I don't drive a motor cycle, I've never been in a fight, my press on tattoo is already rubbing away, I don't think I could break a pool cue over my knee, I like sleeves on my shirts, and my wife said no when I suggested she wear a tube top and heels. I do, however, own a red bandanna, but I grow a pretty sissy beard and an even sissier mustache. What is a clean cut Mormon couple to do? We decided to just wing it.
I was sure I would stick out as a sore thumb in that place but nobody seemed to notice us. Well, not until we couldn't seem to find the entrance, some nice bikers pointed us toward the door. The door was a jimmy rigged piece of painted wood and we had to walk through the kitchen to get inside. When we finally did get inside we decided we didn't like second hand smoke so much so we ate outside on one of the picnic tables.
The Cotton Bottom has one cook, one waitress, and just one food item on the menu; just cheeseburgers. They don't even serve fries. When the lovely waitress saw us we ordered a pitcher of Pepsi, because we like the hard stuff, and she just said "2 cheeseburgers?" Yes ma'am, that was easy.
The burgers are huge and the pickles are served on the side, ON THE SIDE. Thank you! Finally someone gets it. Pickles have about a 50% satisfaction rate and the customer should not have them forced on them. Bonus points for you Cotton Bottom. Do you like garlic? You had better hope so if you plan on going to The Cotton Bottom. They are very garlic-y but not annoyingly so. However, plan on garlic burps for a day or two. The bun is, I think, a cut off section of a very large deli bun. Very sponge-y, unlike any burger bun you have likely tried and very good. A very simple but delicious burger that needed very little to no condiments to enhance it. The outdoor patio was a cool environment, so much so that we stayed 30 minutes after we finished our food to just sit, talk and enjoy the evening under the pine trees.
If you want a unique experience and a delicious burger with a twist I would highly recommend The Cotton Bottom. And turns out you don't need a bandanna or denim vest to get in, but it wouldn't hurt either.